concept: white coats

The idea for this new series has been brewing in my head for a while. Here's the crazy thing about medical school: not only are we expected to learn physiology, pathophysiology, common and uncommon presentations, diagnosis, and treatment of diseases, but we are also expected to learn an entire new culture. It continues to astound me how many there are, and in general how peculiar they are. I'll try to explain some of these cultural oddities in addition to continuing my normal posts.

So, white coats. If you haven't spent any time in a hospital, or maybe even if you have, you might not know that white coats are actually hierarchical symbols.

You see, medical students wear short white coats. Doctors wear long white coats. This distinction is probably hardly noticeable to patients, because who's really looking to see if the coat is to the doctor's hips or knees? But this whole message has gotten more confusing with the advent of other advanced practitioners. Nurse practitioners and physician assistants also have the distinct privilege of wearing white coats.

So now you can't just look at the length, you have to look at the badge. You should also take note of the badge for other purposes, like differentiating the *even more special* doctors. The division isn't just medical student vs. doctor - it's also residents (also called "house staff" because they literally used to live in the hospital) vs. fellows vs. attendings, who are all already doctors.

All this talk about white coats makes me want to rant about how medicine, an occupation where blood splatter is a relatively common occurrence, ended up with the white coat as its uniform. It's just so illogical. And also necessitates more laundry, which I hate, so yeah. This is probably where I should divulge some historical research about why there are white coats in medicine, but I usually get really bored when some old white dude tries to tell me why we do things a certain way because another old white dude thought of it, so you can google white coats if you're interested.

One really wonderful thing about white coats is that they can hold everything. At one point I've fit a small book, my stethoscope, 5 printed articles, a schedule, my cell phone, a pocket guide, three pens, a highlighter, a penlight, a small notebook, a roll of tape, a packet of tissues, my pager, and mints all in my white coat. It's like wearing a backpack! Except it does kind of start to pull on your neck after a while... but that's totally normal, right?