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| This is actually from the snow Sunday before my snow day, when I should have been doing work, but instead I was doing arabesques in the snow! |
As I sit curled up on my couch with snow drifts on my windowsills and an espresso in my hand, I'm thinking, what do I have to say about being a medical student lately? I want to talk about expectations and evaluations. Because I am sick of both of those things.
Expectations. Here are some things I am expected to know how to do, magically without ever learning. Granted, some resident will show me how to do these things, however they will make it clear how very nice and patient they are being because the idiot med student can't figure it out:
1. How to use a fax machine. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a complicated task. I thought the pathophysiology of glycolysis and gluconeogenesis was complicated, but figuring out how to send a fax to a long distance number is more complicated. Speaking of long distance numbers...
2. The long distance code. Sounds simple, right? A long distance code. I didn't even know these existed. That's what cell phones are for, right? Ok, so the hospital has a system, right? Every single rotation I have been told a different story about this magical code. On the psych floor, the social worker has it. On the neuro floor, every resident has their own code. On ob/gyn, it's on the board (duh! how could I not know that). I've been told on medicine everyone uses the same code, so you just have to memorize it. I've also been told by every secretary I've ever asked that I should have my own code. I don't. On surgery, I never called a long distance number. Ha.
3. Where the stapler is. Probably a common office problem, just never thought it would be a problem I'm often working on solving. Where is the stapler???
4. How to write notes in the fashion of each specialty:
a. Copy it out on this lined paper.
b. Print out this form and "skeletonize" it for us.
c. Print out this form, fill it out, sign it, then copy it with four pages per sheet and put the real one in the chart.
d. Don't write a note, just have it memorized.
e. None of the above, SNOW DAY!
The point is, no matter the environment, and perhaps especially in the uptight medical environment, it is difficult to figure out how the seemingly simple things work. It takes time. I don't magically know how to be the best secretary ever and a brilliant budding doctor. And that leads us to...
Evaluations. Here is the range:
5 = Honors (greatly exceeds expectations)
3 = the average 3rd year medical student (is this strange to you too? shouldn't we all be 3s?)
1 = probably never selected because they would have already pulled you aside and failed you
You are judged weekly, if not daily, on your performance. And whatever small amount of time you spend with a physician, halfway through you should ask for "mid-rotation" feedback. This week I'm going to ask a doctor for mid-rotation feedback after spending two afternoons with her. It's really insane. I think the point of it is supposed to be that we receive feedback "in time" for us to use that feedback to improve our performance and hopefully get the grade we want, but the feedback is usually either "you're doing fine" or "I haven't spent very much time with you." Very formative.
I guess I'm just getting tired of being evaluated constantly. Imagine for this whole year if every day were an interview and you received feedback at the end of each week on your performance. That's kind of what being a third year medical student feels like.
But here's the thing. If you're not somehow already magically performing like a fourth year or intern after one week, you're probably not going to get higher than a High Pass (the equivalent of a B). Now I say this with the caveat that everyone has a different view of how many students deserve Honors (the equivalent of an A) and what constitutes honors-level work. So naturally your grade not only depends on your performance, but on your grader's opinion of what grades mean and how they should work.
So basically Honors is the enigma of the third year medical student. What does it mean, really? What is the formula to achieve it? It seems that the usual medical student recipe - hard work, studying all the time, knowing everything - doesn't really work. It also seems that my method - hard work, being really helpful, people skills :), and trying to convince myself to study sometimes - also doesn't really work. It's not that I really need Honors in everything. It's just kind of hard to work 60 hours a week, to try your hardest at something that kind of scares you, and then to be told that you "seemed like a genuinely nice person" (literal direct quote) but you get HIGH PASS. Buzz. Next.
Needless to say the excitement of third year has worn off a little bit, in addition to the fact that I'm still tested around once a month (the results of which are always discouraging), thus I am already close to ready for third year to be over with.
I am currently in the middle of my Obstetrics and Gynecology rotation, which I really am enjoying (despite the difficulties inherent in third year mentioned above). My goal is mainly to study really hard so I hopefully get a better grade on this test than any of the others, then I basically feel like I can stop worrying and just settle on getting High Passes for my remaining rotations. Hopefully then I will have Honors in the two things I am thinking of going into, and that seems good enough to me! I am hopeful that I'll write another post summarizing OB/GYN in the next three weeks.
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