conundrum

This afternoon I planned on going out to lunch with some of my friends from undergrad. At the same time, there is a TA session for physiology. Our first problem set is due on Tuesday (after the long weekend), so this is the last time to seek help from someone who isn't a classmate. Only I haven't done the problem set yet. So what do I do? Until I left anatomy lab, I was still vaguely undecided and I hadn't cancelled on my friends yet. At this point hunger was my driving force - anatomy lab makes me incredibly hungry - yeah, a little bit distasteful, I know.

So I cancel. My friends are understanding, they say, "Well, you're in med school now, we get it." I eat food, so now it's guilt instead of hunger gnawing away at me. Will the TA session really help me if I haven't done the work? Should I work right now instead because I already cancelled on my friends? 

So I go to the TA session. The first thing the TA says - "I just wanted to start off by reminding you that this year is pass/fail and this homework assignment is worth 3 points of your total grade." 

Wonderful. So now instead of being in the TA session learning or going out to lunch with my friends, I am blogging. Med school is confusing. "There is no right choice. Only what's right for you." That's what everyone keeps saying. Well, sometimes no choice feels right. All I know for sure is that I was really, really hungry. 

The interesting dilemma about not having grades is not that I'm unmotivated - it's that I'm afraid to be worthlessly over-motivated. Now that's a conundrum.