trust me, I'm a med student

A day like today is the reason I'm in medical school. I know I didn't admit it earlier, but last week was pretty draining. A whole bunch of basic science lectures all in a row = super boring. I had trouble sitting still, and as one of my best friends describes the sensation: "I feel like a 5 year-old boy who's told to sit still in Kindergarten, but just can't do it." But today, I experienced my first anatomy dissection and learned how to take blood pressure.

Today I made my first incision into human flesh. Today I was put in charge of my first patient, my cadaver. He donated his body, the place where his "self" once resided, for me to learn and to become a physician. I will learn intimate details about him - details he himself did not even know about his muscles and vasculature. The organization of the human body is impressive. Also, there is a difficult pull between wanting to respect and care for the person who donated their body for you and wanting to distance yourself from the reality of the dead body in front of you. It is easier if you just allow your desire to learn to take over. I think it will take me a while to continue to process this privilege that society has afforded me, a privilege very few are given. It might take me equally as long to remove the smell of formaldehyde from my hands. 

I also learned how to take my classmates' blood pressure. Carrying around my stethoscope, I feel like I'm just "playing doctor." It took less time than I thought to be able to hear the sounds, but my readings are highly inaccurate - don't trust me to diagnose you with hypertension any time soon.