playing doctor

In an earlier post I mentioned a professor who said we were officially med students once we'd taken our first exam. I disagree - I think the first time we will be medical students is tomorrow. Tomorrow we have our first "SP" - standardized patient. I know, I know - talking to an actor pretending to be a patient does not make me a real doctor. But I've taken exams before - never before have I walked into a room wearing a white coat, asked someone very personal questions, and then examined them.

I think it will be kind of fun. Although I'm certain watching the video of the whole interaction will not be so fun. Tomorrow I get a glimpse of what my life will be like someday - not a classroom, not studying power point slides - interacting with people on a very personal level to figure out what's happening inside their body. Some of my classmates are freaking out because they labelled this an "exam" on the schedule. I'm just excited about being a little closer to becoming a doctor.

Sorry if anyone found this cheesy. I will try to make fun of my sincerity tomorrow.

midterm rant

I don't even want to write about medical school. I just took four exams in five days and I only started studying for one of the exams before this week. It's over now, but I'm still stressed. I've been trying to watch TV but I keep thinking "Wait should I be studying right now?" Because literally that's all I've done for almost the past 2 weeks. I realized one day I studied from 10:30am-6:30pm straight, only pausing once to microwave a lean cuisine. And then I studied while I ate it.

I passed two exams for sure! I guess I should take solace in that. But even that does not feel like a victory, just a relief. I was petrified the whole week of having to retake them. The point is, I learned the following:

1) I hate cramming
2) I need to balance my life better (meaning increase the studying/fun ratio) so that my next round of tests isn't so hellish
3) You know that line that separates sane from insane? None of us are as far from that border as we imagine.
4) I still like my Macbook Pro
5) If you don't have time to go to the grocery store, you should buy almond milk. It doesn't go bad as quickly. And it's tasty.
6) I'm smarter than I've ever given myself credit for.
7) Medical school isn't supposed to be fun all the time (even during first year, all you second years who gave me nostalgic advice). Why did I believe this lie?

And with that, have a good weekend. I know I will!

long time no blogging

I know it's been a long time since I posted. I'm sorry. I knew this would happen, but I'm trying to prevent it by posting now.

Major updates:

1) I passed my first anatomy exam! Yay. As we were walking out of the exam, one of the professors said "You are now officially medical students." I thought "I want to take a nap."
2) My birthday was awesome. I am now a year older and grateful for my amazing friends and family. I wish I could go on about how much my new medical school friends and my old faithful friends impressed me with their love and generosity, but that would get mushy... Suffice it to say that while medical school/life gets challenging sometimes, my birthday reminded me what an amazing support system I have.
3) I have four exams this week. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. And I have procrastinated studying for every single one of them way more than I should have. But what's done is done - I had fun over the past couple of months, and now I will scramble to study for what seems like forever. All I can do is plan to be more forward-thinking in the future. I will still pass (cross your fingers) and I will not have a melt-down (cross your other hand's fingers).

Don't worry, I'm just being (a little) dramatic. P = MD!